Dems Mock GOP's "Commitment to America"
This week, House Minority leader Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif) unveiled the Republicans' "Commitment to America" platform. The platform focused on inflation, crime, and the southern border.
"President Biden and the Democrats in Congress took a whack at the strong economy bequeathed to them by former President Trump's policies of low taxes, energy independence, and secure borders and wrecked it," McCarthy said. "Democrats raised taxes, doubled the size of the IRS, squelched domestic energy production, and allowed more than two million people to enter the country illegally through our southern border. Now inflation is the highest its been in more than 40 years, the cost of fueling our cars, heating and cooling our homes, and putting food on the table are mercilessly squeezing family budgets, and crime is soaring in many of our largest cities as Democrat district attorneys go easy on violent criminals. The Republican Party is pledging to undo the Democrats' foolish policies if voters give us a majority in Congress."
Biden immediately assailed the GOP Platform's "absence of a pledge to restore the Roe v. Wade abortion rights recently overturned by the Supreme Court. What good is prosperity if a woman cannot get an abortion when she needs it? Sure, some states have laws affirming the right to an abortion, but what about women who live in states that have stricter controls on the procedure? Who's going to pay the high costs of their travel to states where abortions are well-funded with public money?"
Georgia gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams added to Biden's criticism by characterizing the whole pro-life movement as "phony. There's no such thing as a fetal heartbeat. Republicans are duping women with fake sounds to try to scare them into forgoing their sacred right to abort an unwanted child. They put the right to life of the child ahead of a woman's right to freedom. We can't let these monsters hold any office in this country."
House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer (D-Md) called the GOP platform "more Make America Great Again extremism. Rather than crossing the aisle to support the unifying agenda of the President they are advancing a program of selfishness for America. The difficulties of transitioning to a cleaner and more equitable future are prices the American people must pay. The attempt to avoid this pain is unpatriotic. We urge all voters to stay the course by casting their ballots for Democrats as often as they can between now and November 8."
House Minority Whip Steve Scalise (R-La) defended the platform, saying that "this country was founded on the principles of individual freedom. Scaling back the bloated government that the Democrats are inflicting on the inhabitants of the nation is a restoration of these founding principles. The doubling of the IRS that Democrats have enacted into law will send out swarms of officers to harass the people and eat out their substance. This election is an opportunity for these intended victims of the socialist nostrums that drive modern Democrats to fight for their freedom by voting against the Democrats' oppressive schemes. We have laid out a bold conservative vision to show the country there's hope again."
In related news, a Convention of States Action/Trafalgar Group survey found that 68% of Americans felt safer when Trump was president than they do now. The breakout by political affiliation was 87% for Republicans, 64% for independents, and 44% for Democrats. Sens Marsha Blackburn (R-TN) asserted that "public safety isn't some random fluctuation of nature. It is directly influenced by government policies toward crime. Law-abiding citizens need to be protected from law-breaking criminals. Republicans understand this. Too many of the Democrats in charge around the country don't seem to understand this. Replacing them with Republicans is one thing voters can do to improve safety where they live."
FBI Retaliates Against Whistleblower
This week, FBI Special Agent Steve Friend, a respected 12-year veteran of the FBI, was suspended, his badge and firearm confiscated, and was escorted out of the building after he complained about some of the Agency's actions. His complaint to DOJ Inspector General Michael Horowitz cited multiple violations of FBI policy including the falsification of data, use of excessive force against non-violent subjects accused of misdemeanor offenses, and political bias against conservatives.
"I didn't like the idea of sending heavily-armed SWAT teams on dawn raids of persons suspected of what, at best, would be misdemeanor offenses," Friend explained. "I suggested alternatives such as the issuance of a court summons or utilizing surveillance groups to determine an optimal, safe time for a local sheriff's deputy to contact the subjects and advise them about the existence of the arrest warrant. For this I was told I was a 'bad teammate.'"
FBI Director Christopher called Friend "the kind of mole that must be rooted out and removed from having access to sensitive government operations. His challenge to orders that he considers ill-conceived is a threat to the Agency's morale. The smooth functioning of the FBI relies on immediate obedience to the directives of one's superior officers. We can't fight the enemies of democracy very effectively if we harbor one of them in our midst. Friend's claim that many other field agents share his views shows that there is a conspiracy of disloyal Americans that have infiltrated our Agency. His refusal to name names constitutes obstruction of justice. Being ousted from his job is just the beginning of the troubles he will experience in the near future."
Pediatric Transgender Clinic a "Cash Cow"
Dr. Shayne Sebold Taylor of the Pediatric Transgender Clinic at Vanderbilt University Medical Center (VUMC) says "the surgeries we do on minors are labor intensive, require a lot of follow-ups, a lot of our time, and they make a lot of money for the hospital. They are a huge cash cow for the University."
Vanderbilt health law expert Ellen Wright Clayton warned employees of the clinic that "any conscientious objection to participating in these lucrative procedures will be met with dire consequences. You probably shouldn't be working at VUMC if you don't want to participate in the trans surgeries on minor patients."
"People think they can impede the very successful program we have developed based on some personal notions of conscience about the procedures and the alleged long-term health consequences to the patients," Wright Clayton said. "They cite statistics showing that persons who have had the surgeries are twenty times more likely to commit suicide than non-trans persons and presume that this reflects negatively on our attempt to mold their bodies to suit their gender identification. The implication that this is a bad outcome overlooks the torment of living in the wrong body. Suicide can be a valid response to the random assignment of sex dictated by genes that no one purposely chose."
President Biden called the objections to performing sex change surgery on minors "another manifestation of the evil intentions of the MAGA Republicans. This is something that the 81 million who voted for me won't tolerate. LBGTQ rights can only be effectively ensured by voting for Democrats. When we win in November the Republicans will learn a much-deserved hard lesson about what the voters want."
Man Being Considered for Medal of Freedom
At 2:35 Sunday morning, 41-year-old Shannon Brandt called 911 to report that he had hit a pedestrian in an alley way outside of the bar where he had been drinking in Grace City, North Dakota. Though the teen-aged victim Cayler Ellingson was fleeing when Brandt drove his SUV over him, Brandt claimed self-defense. "From some of the things I heard him say I realized he was one of those MAGA enemies of democracy that the President warned us about in his speech a couple of weeks ago." The police charged Brandt with vehicular homicide, driving while drunk, and leaving the scene of a deadly crash.
White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre called the arrest of Brandt "hasty and ill-considered, but I suppose it's what we should expect from a red state like North Dakota. Marooned in a state with a MAGA majority, Brandt justifiably feared he would become yet another victim of these right-wing semi-fascists. Yet, he overcame his fear and took the kind of direct action the President would like to see from all loyal Americans."
"I expect that the President will intervene to ensure that this hero of democracy is properly rewarded for helping to set an example for others to follow," the Press Secretary said. "This would include an after-the-fact authorization of a justifiable homicide, a cash reward, and the Medal of Freedom. If former president Trump could give a Medal of Freedom to Rush Limbaugh—one of the worst enemies of democracy in world history—it's time we balance the scales by acknowledging a real hero."
Martha's Vineyard Residents Say Migrants Enriched Us
Though the 50 illegal aliens flown to Martha's Vineyard by Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis spent less than two days on the island, residents profess themselves "amazingly enriched by the experience."
Resident Richard Mann confessed "while we all have cared about the welfare of these unfortunate people from afar, seeing them up close was simultaneously a frightening and exhilarating experience. These Venezuelans fled from a dictatorship that voters freely elected. I thought, in a way, this is like Americans fleeing to Florida from the rotten governments of New York and Massachusetts. It makes you think."
Resident Shirley Hugest observed "they were here a very short time, but in that brief span they acquired legal representation and are now suing Gov. DeSantis for neglecting to give them the stipends to which they are entitled as human beings. Making demands of others and suing if you aren't satisfied is so American of them. We might as well make them citizens and give them the vote right now!"
Resident Ardley Sain boasted that "very tangible benefits have resulted from this episode. The GoFundMe page 'Urgent plea to help Martha's Vineyard migrants' set up by New York PR executive, Sarah Goulet raised $43,000. Now, since the Venezuelans have been evacuated to a military base on Cape Cod, this money will be given to the MV Community Foundation. So, at no cost to us, we have been enriched with another $43,000 to spend on local projects."
In related news, Rep. Pramila Jayapal (D-WA) blamed Republicans for the border crisis. "It's Republicans who keep saying the border is open," she pointed out. "If they would just shut up about it the terrorists, criminals, human-traffickers, and drug smugglers wouldn't know that there are no barriers to their intrusion. So, as I see it, leaving the door open is a lesser sin than informing people that it's open."
California Bans Gas Heaters
The California Air Resources Board (CARB) has decreed that natural gas heaters and furnaces will be illegal in the state after 2030. CARB Chair Liane Randolph declared this draconian measure "essential for cleaning our air of carbon emissions." She rebuffed contentions that the ban will cause unnecessary hardship for those who can't afford the pricier options of wind or solar heating, saying "people are mammals. This means we each generate body heat. Garments were invented by the human race as a protection against the cold. If we each wear a sufficient number of garments the need for external heat can be greatly diminished."
Gov. Gavin Newsom heaped lavish praise on CARB, calling it "one of the vanguards of our struggle against the excesses of capitalism. The idea that humans should exploit nature for their own comfort and happiness is too dangerous to be allowed free rein. All must be compelled to make the sacrifices experts say are needed to reduce the human footprint. The natural process of shivering is less polluting and less expensive than using fire to keep warm."
The Governor promised that "electricity rationing will be the next step toward our goal of reversing the artificial lifestyle to which too many people have become accustomed. It's one thing to use scarce resources to support the government and the officers who run it. The important people are few in number and can be comfortably supported with minimal environmental damage. However, it is impractical to try to keep the masses comfortable without doing major harm to the climate."
Newsom predicted that "voters will support the enlightened few of us who have the vision and the guts to make the hard choices required and to impose the necessary sacrifices everyone must endure to save the planet. The obedience achieved during the covid pandemic proved that the majority of Americans want to be ruled by experts. I am the man who will be chosen by them to do this in the 2024 presidential election."
